Moved in!

Well, we moved in and are mostly set up at home.

We looked at about a dozen houses, with only two of those being somewhere we actually wanted to live for a few reasons.

1. Most landlords that buy cheap houses to rent don't seem to bother upgrading the house at all. You can pay quite a lot of money for some pretty grotty houses. Also, there appears to be a neat trick of advertising a house with the amount of rooms it comes with but neglecting to state that the owner is using two of those rooms for storage. We actually had an agent suggest that we could use the hallways (which to be fair, were ample) as office space and as a spare room.

2. Most of the houses are not double glazed, for obvious reasons. But this does mean that traffic noise is pretty noticeable. Some of you may remember that I used to live right on a main road (A3 a mile south of the Hindhead lights) and the noise level in the average property we saw was comparable.

3. I don't care how nice a bloke the agent is, when I point out that there are loads of mouse droppings in the kitchen pantry that he is standing next to, which are visible from the next room, the correct response is not "oh they never reported that".

Anyway, we now have a lovely house albeit at the top of our budget with a fantastic garden in a lovely neighbourhood. I'll post some pictures once we have decent broadband rather than 3g, which is pants.

To briefly outline the accommodations we have. 3 bedrooms, 2 shower rooms (no bath), another separate loo, laundry room, workshop and double garage with automatic door (if only it went up rather than to the side I could recreate the moment in Star Wars Episode 1 when Darth Maul appears). We also have a largish open plan lounge and dining room which looks into the kitchen.

One thing we hadn't bargained for (or to strictly accurate, were really hoping not to have to bargain for) is that virtually none of the houses in Australia are furnished; most don't even come with a washing machine. Since we are still waiting for some reimbursements and I am not working this has meant we have had to rent furniture, fridges etc. and buy a telly as well as bed for Zach. Whilst we haven't been extravagant, this combined with the sheer cost of living is starting to make life a bit tricky day to day. We'll be fine once we over the hump, but the plans for the robot hoover (necessary since we have a largish house with lots of carpets, and I don't especially like hoovering) and new guitar amp will have to wait. The washing machine does play little tunes when you programme it, which I like a lot.

So where is the downside?

Well, if there is one it is the local wildlife I'm afraid.

I made the mistake the other day of going out into the garden without any insect repellent on. Not unreasonably, since I didn't have any at the time.  Five mosquito bites later and I was back inside and searching for the bite cream. I did get the bugger that did it though. This was quite satisfying until the itching and swelling began.

The flies are pretty prevalent at night as well. God knows how they get in, but you can easily have five or six flying around the room at any one time. Since I am not an Eco-Fascist I have no problem at all filling the room with pesticides and watching them. They were dropping like flies; literally.

Now the three things that everyone bangs on about when you are going to Australia are the sharks, the snakes and the spiders. It actually gets pretty dull having these conversations three times a week with various people, particularly when you are trying to play down these things to a six year old who can be prone to nightmares (like all six year old children I guess). I don't mind admitting that whilst the first two animals on my list don't really bother me (the first because I can't swim and the second because I have seen so many in the UK that they don't bother me) the spiders have been getting to me. Prior to actually moving during moments of particular anxiety, usually when lying awake at 3am my imagination would go into overdrive about funnel webs and red backs and that would pretty much put the possibility of sleep out of the window. Now I don't have a particular phobia of spiders. I've worked in the outdoors for twenty years and seen and had crawling all over me a whole range of spiders and other stuff, so I really am not that scared. Obviously the stakes are a bit higher when you can get a nasty bite from something, but the animals themselves don't concern me as individuals.

We stayed in a motel for the first few weeks we were here, and I admit that the first night or two I was expecting to see spiders everywhere, so I was a bit cautious keeping all clothes off the floor etc. When none materialised I was immediately at ease and the whole subject went out of my mind. That was until we moved in here and started looking in the cupboards............

When we where moving in properly, building beds etc and putting things away we started noticing quite a few webs in the cupboards. When then started to find the odd egg sack in drawers (the cutlery drawer, errrr) and behind the curtains. Anyway I opened the patio doors in one of the bedrooms to let some air in, and in between the door and the screen was a large spider that looked like a tarantula (seriously, google megalomorph). I got something sharp and heavy and gave it a good going over. Fortunately it was dead, but I was on my guard after that. Not wanting to alarm anyone I kept my mouth shut and went and bought some fly spray and thought no more about it. When Pen saw the fly spray I owned up, and she muttered the immortal words:

"I wasn't going to tell you, but when I was moving your medicines from their bag under the sink in the bathroom to the drawers there was a big black spider in the there".

Me: "Did you kill it? Where is it so I can identify it."

Pen: "Well I went to put it outside, but there appears to have been a hole in the bottom of the bag and it fell out somewhere on the way".

So, we did some cleaning, sprayed some fly spray and said no more about it.

The next day I was in the office when I noticed a spider run under my unpacked suitcase. So I got a glass and the spray and killed it. I left it till later to identify. Turns out it was a white tail (or white tip) albeit a baby one. Now these can give you a nasty bite, which can ulcerate. The worst thing however is that the bites tend to happen at night, in bed. Yes, they crawl in to your bed, and if you roll on them or startle them they bite you.

So we e-mailed our agents, and they said words to the effect of "don't worry, get some spray, harden the fuck up".

Anyway, I was a bit restless in bed last night, and I was having one of those weird sensations that something was crawling on me which kept waking me up with flinches and spasms and general girlyness. After about two hours I decided to read, and as is the accepted protocol reached down to the floor for Pen's phone which I use as a torch. I switched it on and noticed a spider crawling out from behind the curtains.  I gave it a slap and stunned it. I got it into the light and guess what: it was a white tail. I swept it up and went to measure it (just to see how much bigger it could get) and bugger me if it wasn't moving and about to scarper. Needless to say that I used something heavier and got the job done.

So today I am going to buy two things. A large amount of insect sprays, and a copy of War and Peace. Next time I wallop a spider I want to do more than stun it.