Still no job; yet more blog, with added pics!

Well since I still don't have a job you're getting another instalment. I have also gotten around to taking some pictures to satisfy those that have asked.

We've been in the house for about two weeks now. Hardly seems possible, but there it is. We now have beds, some furniture in the living room, a TV, a dinner table (well a $50 patio set with 2 chairs), crockery and cutlery, a fridge and lots of cardboard which I am using as coasters and place mats. We also now have a vegetable patch in our raised beds (which incidentally I am writing this blog from since it is a nice day) which we planted out on Sunday and everything is already getting up and growing.

We don't have a rolling pin, a kettle, any wood working tools (annoying since I have a workshop and a lot of free time at the moment) any new Australian friends or landline and therefore proper broadband. I am sure that all these things will come in time and the boadband needs to happen soon as 3g is costing a fortune and the connection keeps dropping :(

The copious amounts of barrier spray and bug bombs (we are up to >$100 of chemicals so far) are keeping the silverfish, cockroaches and spiders out and I have now found living or dead specimens of all the main scary ones, plus some other big black spiders that I have no idea about; crucially though, all outside or at least outside the screen doors. I am sleeping better now because of this!

Zach is now in school, which after a few days I think he is genuinely enjoying and is starting to make some friends and look a bit more settled.That is quite nice as he was getting seriously cranky at the slightest mention of going into the city to run errands which inevitably means about two hours walking and a lot of other boring stuff.

Picture of a happy Zach

I am temporarily a full time house husband, which at the moment is suiting me quite well, although I am longing for the day when I can afford a robot hoover and mop. Still, at least cleaning is easy because a) we live in a bungalow and b) we haven't got much stuff, which means no clutter!

With only one salary and the lack of relocation expenses and therefore no furniture imminently arriving, we have had to make some compromises. You need about $5k-$10k to sensibly kit out a house, which we just don't have. Fortunately we found Radio Rentals who as well as electronics also do furniture: much more expensive in the long term, but the only way we were going to get a fridge, bed, washing machine and sofa this year. We had to go a few days without a fridge which made life difficult to say the least. So we have rented as much as they would let us have, which is not as much as you might think and certainly not as much as we wanted. This meant constantly renegotiating and having to choose cheaper stuff than we originally picked and, alas, no big telly. Almost everything we have was ex-rental, i.e. someone's already had it, or ex demo and or shop soiled. Not my proudest moment to have to take the shop floor mattress that complete strangers have been lying on, but needs must. Having said all that, the guys at Radio Rentals bent over backwards to help us out and we got a good deal in the end. The delivery guys were fantastic, and I got called a whinging pom for the first time. They were good fun and clearly took pride in being helpful and quick.

Ironically enough the sofa we got, whilst not something I would buy in the UK, was probably the least hideous sofa I have seen in Australia (I am an hideous sofa snob, ask Gary). To be honest, since I had just given away my beloved 30yr old chesterfield I was in no mood to spend $3k upwards to buy another one without all the emotional attachment that one had. So we have probably the cheapest sofas in the world, but at least I can stretch out lengthways on the big one and watch F1 when it is on.

So here are a few pics of the house and garden:

The Fernery

Circle Patio outside two of the bedrooms

Frangipan Tree (smells amazing)

View from the road

Front of house

More

Back Verandah and Fern House

Living Room

Dining Room (complete with patio furniture and Ikea barstools)

Kitchen

View from the office/spare room

So we are here and we have the furniture and other stuff we need to start getting on with the process of starting our new lives here. I have a garden to potter in, which since I am not spending every waking moment worrying about a nursery full of plants that I am paid to keep alive, I am quite enjoying. It kind of feels like we've done most of the hard yards and the rest is routine and fairly easy. We shall see, but at the moment we are just enjoying the weather and our new house and home town.

To finish off, some of my personal favourites from the house:

The Doorbell

The water feature, depicting cherub urinating pathetically on the washing basket

The bin lorry

The garage door

Moved in!

Well, we moved in and are mostly set up at home.

We looked at about a dozen houses, with only two of those being somewhere we actually wanted to live for a few reasons.

1. Most landlords that buy cheap houses to rent don't seem to bother upgrading the house at all. You can pay quite a lot of money for some pretty grotty houses. Also, there appears to be a neat trick of advertising a house with the amount of rooms it comes with but neglecting to state that the owner is using two of those rooms for storage. We actually had an agent suggest that we could use the hallways (which to be fair, were ample) as office space and as a spare room.

2. Most of the houses are not double glazed, for obvious reasons. But this does mean that traffic noise is pretty noticeable. Some of you may remember that I used to live right on a main road (A3 a mile south of the Hindhead lights) and the noise level in the average property we saw was comparable.

3. I don't care how nice a bloke the agent is, when I point out that there are loads of mouse droppings in the kitchen pantry that he is standing next to, which are visible from the next room, the correct response is not "oh they never reported that".

Anyway, we now have a lovely house albeit at the top of our budget with a fantastic garden in a lovely neighbourhood. I'll post some pictures once we have decent broadband rather than 3g, which is pants.

To briefly outline the accommodations we have. 3 bedrooms, 2 shower rooms (no bath), another separate loo, laundry room, workshop and double garage with automatic door (if only it went up rather than to the side I could recreate the moment in Star Wars Episode 1 when Darth Maul appears). We also have a largish open plan lounge and dining room which looks into the kitchen.

One thing we hadn't bargained for (or to strictly accurate, were really hoping not to have to bargain for) is that virtually none of the houses in Australia are furnished; most don't even come with a washing machine. Since we are still waiting for some reimbursements and I am not working this has meant we have had to rent furniture, fridges etc. and buy a telly as well as bed for Zach. Whilst we haven't been extravagant, this combined with the sheer cost of living is starting to make life a bit tricky day to day. We'll be fine once we over the hump, but the plans for the robot hoover (necessary since we have a largish house with lots of carpets, and I don't especially like hoovering) and new guitar amp will have to wait. The washing machine does play little tunes when you programme it, which I like a lot.

So where is the downside?

Well, if there is one it is the local wildlife I'm afraid.

I made the mistake the other day of going out into the garden without any insect repellent on. Not unreasonably, since I didn't have any at the time.  Five mosquito bites later and I was back inside and searching for the bite cream. I did get the bugger that did it though. This was quite satisfying until the itching and swelling began.

The flies are pretty prevalent at night as well. God knows how they get in, but you can easily have five or six flying around the room at any one time. Since I am not an Eco-Fascist I have no problem at all filling the room with pesticides and watching them. They were dropping like flies; literally.

Now the three things that everyone bangs on about when you are going to Australia are the sharks, the snakes and the spiders. It actually gets pretty dull having these conversations three times a week with various people, particularly when you are trying to play down these things to a six year old who can be prone to nightmares (like all six year old children I guess). I don't mind admitting that whilst the first two animals on my list don't really bother me (the first because I can't swim and the second because I have seen so many in the UK that they don't bother me) the spiders have been getting to me. Prior to actually moving during moments of particular anxiety, usually when lying awake at 3am my imagination would go into overdrive about funnel webs and red backs and that would pretty much put the possibility of sleep out of the window. Now I don't have a particular phobia of spiders. I've worked in the outdoors for twenty years and seen and had crawling all over me a whole range of spiders and other stuff, so I really am not that scared. Obviously the stakes are a bit higher when you can get a nasty bite from something, but the animals themselves don't concern me as individuals.

We stayed in a motel for the first few weeks we were here, and I admit that the first night or two I was expecting to see spiders everywhere, so I was a bit cautious keeping all clothes off the floor etc. When none materialised I was immediately at ease and the whole subject went out of my mind. That was until we moved in here and started looking in the cupboards............

When we where moving in properly, building beds etc and putting things away we started noticing quite a few webs in the cupboards. When then started to find the odd egg sack in drawers (the cutlery drawer, errrr) and behind the curtains. Anyway I opened the patio doors in one of the bedrooms to let some air in, and in between the door and the screen was a large spider that looked like a tarantula (seriously, google megalomorph). I got something sharp and heavy and gave it a good going over. Fortunately it was dead, but I was on my guard after that. Not wanting to alarm anyone I kept my mouth shut and went and bought some fly spray and thought no more about it. When Pen saw the fly spray I owned up, and she muttered the immortal words:

"I wasn't going to tell you, but when I was moving your medicines from their bag under the sink in the bathroom to the drawers there was a big black spider in the there".

Me: "Did you kill it? Where is it so I can identify it."

Pen: "Well I went to put it outside, but there appears to have been a hole in the bottom of the bag and it fell out somewhere on the way".

So, we did some cleaning, sprayed some fly spray and said no more about it.

The next day I was in the office when I noticed a spider run under my unpacked suitcase. So I got a glass and the spray and killed it. I left it till later to identify. Turns out it was a white tail (or white tip) albeit a baby one. Now these can give you a nasty bite, which can ulcerate. The worst thing however is that the bites tend to happen at night, in bed. Yes, they crawl in to your bed, and if you roll on them or startle them they bite you.

So we e-mailed our agents, and they said words to the effect of "don't worry, get some spray, harden the fuck up".

Anyway, I was a bit restless in bed last night, and I was having one of those weird sensations that something was crawling on me which kept waking me up with flinches and spasms and general girlyness. After about two hours I decided to read, and as is the accepted protocol reached down to the floor for Pen's phone which I use as a torch. I switched it on and noticed a spider crawling out from behind the curtains.  I gave it a slap and stunned it. I got it into the light and guess what: it was a white tail. I swept it up and went to measure it (just to see how much bigger it could get) and bugger me if it wasn't moving and about to scarper. Needless to say that I used something heavier and got the job done.

So today I am going to buy two things. A large amount of insect sprays, and a copy of War and Peace. Next time I wallop a spider I want to do more than stun it.

Part 2: My Real Estate Agent and Other Animals

Well, from my calculations we are two weeks in and since I don't have a job yet, you're getting another blog post. This one is a bit longer as I have a couple of points to bang on about.

This last week has been a bit more focused, and the main point of order has been finding a house. This is quite an interesting exercise and exposes one of the key differences that anyone coming from the UK will instantly recognise.

The balance of power in residential lettings rests with the landlord; the lettings agents very clearly work for them.

The first major difference is the way in which you view houses. We looked on the Internet (still no laptop, so we have to get a bus into the city and use Internet cafes) and got a list of houses we thought might suit, then phoned an agent with a few properties and were advised to go into the office. We had a nice chat with the receptionist (ex pat) and one of the senior partners and all seemed well, till I asked a loaded question:

"So, if we book an appointment with you can you take us to a few houses and show us around as we don't have a car"

Answer: "No, we don't do that. After all, if you don't like the house we would have wasted our time. You need to go on the advertised open time (usually a Wednesday or Saturday, and only for 15 mins). Also, agents have allotted properties and can't show another person's stock. I suggest you get a car."

OK, no problem, so we chatted to one of the agents with a house we liked. We asked when he was opening it next:

"I could show you now if you like, although I am off at 16.30 (it was about 15.45) so it would have to be soon.

Me:

"OK, we don't have a car, and it looks too far to walk, could you give us a lift."

[Long embarrassed pause]

"We don't really do that. Why don't you go on the Internet and check the next opening time then hire a car."

So I learnt three lessons from this. Firstly, you need a car and the Internet to get a house, unless everything is on bus routes. Secondly, you always get a straight answer from anyone who is customer facing in Australia, even if it is not the one you wanted; I like this. Finally: Holy Fuck, estate agents have an easy life here! I mean seriously, we have had them driving us round for a couple of hours in the UK looking at multiple properties. I assumed it was just part of the service.

The upside of the Australia real estate industry is that it isn't populated by lots of young men in their early twenties who buy their shirt and tie combos from Burtons (or Morrisons for all I know), wear long pointy brown shoes (even with black trousers, grr), who seem to behave as though they are on the set of a Danny Dyer movie (and not one of the good ones, neither) and call you "Mate". It is actually quite professional over here. So much so that I actually decided not to wear a Steel Panther t-shirt when going to hand in an application today.

Also, the application form you have to fill makes it feel more like you are applying for a job. Both parties have to supply two referees, not just previous landlords etc., but as actual character witnesses. So we had to find four people who would vouch for us as decent upstanding pillars of the community. That would have been hard even if we had been allowed to include family members! Possibly even harder.

More on houses later, possibly even with pics of a new house.....

The thing that I really like about Australia, and although there is no reason not to have suspected this in advance it is a really pleasant surprise, is that people are really nice and anyone who works in any kind of customer service seems to be there to help you and is generally pleased to do so.

For example, I have a personal bank manager who I can e-mail at any point and ask stuff. I called him Bruce by mistake (his name is Shane) and he didn't mind. I have been to the bank a couple of times and the bank teller actually remembered my face (yes, not difficult I know) and almost remembered my name. They clearly do this as a matter of course. He helped us find a completely unrelated government building that we were looking for and generally went about his business in a friendly and efficient manner.

When we arrived at the airport I asked the guy selling coffee how much a cab would be to where we were staying. He didn't know the area, so he asked another customer and we all had a nice conversation. I got the answer I wanted and went about my way, but they were all still happily discussing this as I wandered out of ear shot.

Nice people talk to you on the bus, not just the weirdos. People smile and nod and say good morning as you walk towards them. A waiter in a restaurant laughed at a reference I made to jugs. FFS even the teenagers are polite! It is likely that if you talk to anyone for more than thirty seconds they will tell you something interesting about themselves along the line of your conversation, or other similarly amusing anecdote. Try and talk to a stranger the next time you are on the bus, tube or train, or even at a coffee stand and see how far you get.

But my favourite story is one that I wasn't even present for. Penny was in a shop (alright, it was an off licence) and the lady in front of her was buying a bottle of wine and fumbling with the currency. Clearly new in the country, she looked up at the shop assistant and asked how much it was:

"That'll be $100"

The lady was horrified.

"Really?!"

"No, not really. It's $24. I just wanted to see the look on your face."

I may have said this before: I love Australia. If you've had enough of customer service in the UK, just move here.

Part 1: Arrival and the first week

Ok, a couple of people suggested that I start a blog about our move to Australia. Quite a lot has happened since seeing most of our friends and family in the UK, including a stressful move and a lovely few days in the the S of F. But let's start as we mean to go on and stick to the point; this is about moving to Australia, not about the trials and tribulations of getting away from the UK.

Arrival:

We arrived in Australia on Friday 23rd September. We'd been travelling for about 36 hours or thereabouts and because of the nature of long haul travel we hadn't seen daylight for more than a few short hours in that time. Zach and Penny both managed to sleep pretty well but I only got about three hours. Having said that the excitement of arriving in a new country (and the inflight entertainment system having a few good films and several episodes of The Inbetweeners) kept me feeling pretty alert.

As some of you will know, airlines insist on all the window shades being shut during "nightime", so we had been flying across Australia for a couple of hours before the lights came on and someone sitting by a window near us opened a blind. The sun was just starting to come up, which from 35,000ft gives you an unrivalled view. The sunrise stretched from across the whole horizon and the colours were brilliant. Stretched below us was a sea of greys and pinks that could of been desert or cloud. I'm still not sure.

We landed at around 08.30am, and cleared customs. This is where you start to see the first tangible difference between the UK and Australia; the customs officers appear human!

The first shock of the day was the cost of the coffee, and this has been a recurring theme throughout our time here. I always assume that everything costs the same in local currency as it does in sterling. So a beer should cost 4 euros, dollars, whatever. This is not the case. I think our first round of two coffees, water and sausage roll for zach was something closer $25 dollars.

We got a cab to the motel and all got some sleep. The rest of the day is a bit of a blur but I can say that it was cold! We are in the early spring here at the moment, which is quite a departure from the late summer weather in the south fo France. The next three days were taken up with jetlag and in my case, not much sleep. Apart from that we have started to explore Adelaide and it is definitely an easy city to get to know and it is instantly likeable. One of the real bonuses is the wildlife. You hear a lot of birdsong, the difference is it is cockatoos, parakeets and gallahs! That is a nice thing to wake up to.

Probably the biggest difference noticed so far is the cars. I swear I heard more V8 engines in the first afternoon than in the rest of my life to that point. I would say that half the cars are V6 or V8 with a healthy dollop of seriously loud Imprezzas and old school Nissan Skylines as well. This probably wouldn't be worth a mention if we weren't in a motel next to the main motorway that services Adelaide from all points east! The trucks are also seriously loud and look more like American rigs (think Smokey and the Bandit and Convoy) which for Zach is really exciting, less so for us at 2am.

The real shock though is beer. Firstly there are very few pubs as we would know them. In the city and suburbs at least there doesn't seem to be the same pub culture we would expect in the UK. Secondly the beer is unbelievably expensive. A six-pack of average Australian beer, in the cheapest off-licence goes for around $18 dollars (that is 11.78 in sterling). To put this into context, you can walk into your local Morrisons and buy a six-pack of VB (Victoria Bitter, the lowest rank of Ozzie beer) for less for around 2/3rds of the cost than someone in the country it was brewed in. Finally, you can only buy alcohol in sanctioned off-licences, this does not generally include supermarkets. It will surprise most of you to learn that I have seen more shops devoted to "adult interests and marital aids" than off licences. I'm not joking about this, virtually every local shopping street has one!

It puts to test the myth of the beer swilling Australian bloke. It also raises questions about our attitudes to alcohol in the UK in the past 20 years or so. When we are looking at young people and wondering why there are such problems with violence and anti-social behaviour in Britain we ought to be asking ourselves whether it is sensible that we are able to buy 24 cans of lager for a tenner and what message we are sending to the younger generations. I am not saying that there isn't a problem over here, but you certainly see less evidence of it.

So, to end, I already love Australia and Adelaide. There are a quite a few differences, but nothing truly negative so far.